It’s Not Just Dinner: It’s Strategy

Over the past few months, I’ve been sharing different themes about my work on LinkedIn. The theme that has sparked the most conversation is my events playbook.

The Jeffersonian dinners. The networking hikes. The slow lunches at my go-to spots. The charity fundraisers. These gatherings are how I build trust, deepen relationships, and create what I call gravitational pull around my work.

And here’s the truth: this isn’t just about my work in wealth management. It’s not even about business development. It applies to anyone whose work depends on trust, influence, and human connection. Which, if we’re honest, is almost everyone.

That’s why I built what I now call The Event Playbook. A simple framework for creating experiences that build relationships and open doors that no marketing campaign ever could.

Events Are Strategy, Not Extras

Most people treat events as something extra. Events are a nice add-on to the “real” work. Host a dinner. Throw a holiday party. Check the networking box.

But when done right, events are the strategy. They’re the settings where the most meaningful conversations happen. These are the conversations that can’t unfold in a boardroom or over email. They’re where people start to understand who you are. And they’re where trust is built at a speed nothing else can match.

I don’t plan dinners and hikes because they’re fun (though they are). I plan them because they’re essential to earning the right to do deeper work. This type of work only happens when people trust you enough to invite you into their most complex decisions.

Design for Experience, Not Logistics

Most events are built backwards. They start with logistics. Lots of energy is spent on the checklist, the timeline, and the catering order. Only then does the event planner think about the people.

I flip that approach. Every event starts with one question: What do I want this to feel like for the people in the room? Everything from the guest list, to the format, to the venue, to the timing flows from that.

• A Jeffersonian dinner is designed for depth. Everyone speaks, everyone listens, and a focused theme transforms dinner into something closer to a shared experience.

• A hike is designed for openness. Conversations unfold differently side by side. Ideas stretch further.

• Even a regular lunch spot becomes strategic. My usual table at La Merise isn’t an accident it’s an opportunity for people to receive incredible hospitality. That consistency turns a simple lunch into a relationship-building ritual.

When you design for experience first, logistics become much less complicated.

The ¼ Turn

One of my favorite lessons about events came from a Habitat for Humanity contractor I worked with in college. We were installing closet systems when he said, “Tighten the screw until it’s flush, then give it just a quarter turn. That’s how you snug it up.”

That advice stuck with me and I’ve carried it into event design. I’m always looking for that ¼ turn. What is one little thing that will elevate the experience without overdoing it or being cheesy.

It might be handwritten name cards instead of printed ones. An unexpected question that shifts the conversation. A special dessert for someone celebrating a birthday or other milestone achievement.

Like the screws in a closet system, most people won’t notice those details consciously. But they feel them. And that’s what transforms a “nice event” into a memorable one.

From Tactics to Trust

The Event Playbook is about building deeper relationships, not throwing better parties. I want to design shared experiences that turn strangers into collaborators, collaborators into advocates, and advocates into trusted partners. I want to create moments where people get to know who you are, rather than just what you do.

And that matters far beyond wealth management. It matters if you’re building a startup, leading a nonprofit, growing a business, or simply trying to turn clients into champions.

Because no matter the field, one truth holds: trust is the real currency. Trust is only built through shared experience.

Build Gravity, Not Noise

We live in a noisy world. Everyone is marketing something. Everyone is reaching out. Everyone is competing for attention. Gravity is different. Gravity doesn’t chase. It pulls.

That’s what well-designed events do. They draw the right people closer through depth and substance. They become the settings where your work speaks for itself. Gravity is why my Jeffersonian dinners sell out in less than 10 minutes and have 30 people on the waiting list.

Most of the most meaningful relationships in my career trace back to a dinner, a hike, a lunch, or a concert. These shared moments became the start of something much bigger.

And that’s the real power of an event done well. It’s not just about who shows up that night. It’s about what grows from that night forward.

Events aren’t the extra. They are the work. When you design them with intention, lead with experience, embrace the ¼ turn, and build gravity instead of chasing attention; you will change the trajectory of your relationships, your reputation, and your results.